Reframing Lazy

Reframing Lazy.png

I’m lazy. I’ve been telling people that for years. 

I like to read trashy novels, binge watch Netflix and I like to regularly stay in PJs all day – so, therefore I present you with proof that I am lazy.

Apparently, this proof outweighs any of the proof to the opposite.

  • The employers I’ve had who praised me for doing things really well and getting more done than others.

  • The successful conference I helped create and run for four years.

  • The profitable parenting blog that has been around for eight years.

  • A sold out live event for business owners…

But really, I’m lazy.

I know this because people who’re not lazy work all the time – they hustle until they drop because that’s what people who REALLY want to be successful do. I hear it all around me: If you really want to be a productive person work harder, sleep less, and stop watching TV. How could I think I’m anything other than lazy?

Have you heard it too? “Stop wasting your time on mindless things!”

But here’s something I also know – when I want to be productive and sit down to do it, I am fast. I’m fast but it takes a lot out of me. I can’t do twice as much as someone else just because I can get it done in half the time, because then I’ll burn out!

The only way for me to accept that I like to sit around doing mindless things that I could otherwise be using for PRODUCTIVE things is to own being lazy. Lazy people don’t reach for the stars – they reach for the chips. Yummy, yummy chips!

The more I told myself and others I was lazy, the more I believed it, and maybe even started leaning into it. So, I had to start paying attention to that.

I’m not lazy, I’m just doing things my way.

I’m not lazy, look at all I’ve done and my reward is getting quiet time to do art, relax at the cottage or just watch TV in my PJs all day.

Could I do more sometimes? Maybe. But that doesn’t take away from all the things I HAVE done. Laying around doesn’t mean everything I’ve already done stops counting.

But that’s the story I was constantly telling myself. You’re lazy, you could do so much more, why are you so lazy?

I catalogued what I HAD done almost never.

So, I redefined lazy. 

I’m not lazy. I’m smart to not burn out and push my body and brain harder than they’re meant to go.

I’m not lazy. Look at that event I planned, that training I recorded, or all the people who are more active online this week because of a prompt I gave them.

Redefining lazy means my mindset shifted and I stopped leaning into “lazy” and I started getting MORE done. Removing guilt from the equation means I enjoy my down time more and I use it less as a crutch than I used to.

So, I’m launching even more workshops, programs, and events, landing even more clients… and enjoying a whole lot of zombie shows and shows where people are making things I have no intention of ever trying to make myself.

I reframed lazy – is that something you want to do too? Are there negative stories you’re telling yourself that you can reframe? How can you see the positive in what you currently consider a negative and start drawing in more flow and ease to your life?

Are you visible online?

Do people know who are you? What you're selling in your business? Who you work with? Why they should buy from you? 

GET VISIBLE ONLINE.png

Getting visible online is something a lot of business owners really struggle with, but it's also one of the very best ways to be seen. To be known. To get more clients. To make more money.

When you're visible you can share your experience, your expertise, and give your audience the opportunity to get to know you. This is how you build relationships. You're creating the "know, like and trust" factor, which is how many people choose what to buy and who to buy it from.

Here's the good news. You don’t need to be a social media expert to make social media work for your business - you just need to be visible on it!

The bad news? Visibility is often something business owners have a really hard time with.
You may find yourself shying away from posting online too much or not wanting to share too many photos, personal stories or selfies. 

So, how can you get comfortable and start taking action so that people can see you, your business, and all of the value you have to offer? Be visible. And if that feels hard, get more comfortable with being visible in a safe space designed just for that - my visibility challenge.

I want to support business owners as they talk about their mindset. I want them to be more comfortable posting in a variety of places online, dabble with video and even start thinking about getting media attention.

Let's get you in front of more people so more people have the opportunity to start working with you!

Are you ready to attract your ideal clients? Together let's get more active in the online space, share relevant content, and build relationships with the people in your networks. That is how you stay top of mind, which is what visibility is all about. 

So, sign up for my visibility challenge.  It takes about 5-20 minutes per day (some days less!) over 14 days. We'll start getting comfortable, setting up good visibility tactics and building relationships with each other at the same time.

Let's get visible together! See you over there!

Success on your own terms

What does success look like for you?

Define success in your own way!

Is it a nice house with a two car garage?

Is it being a manager at work?

Is it making six figures?

Is it travelling two times a year… maybe three?

Is it simply MORE?

Success can be a bit of a sneaky/tricky/slippery beast. Why? Because we don’t really know what success means to us.

This is what *I* “knew” from growing up in my world.

Success looked like :

  • Finish high school and go to university and get a degree. And then a Master’s. And then probably a PhD.
  • Get a good job and move up the ranks as high as possible
  • Buy a house
  • Buy a car
  • Get married
  • Have some kids
  • Buy a bigger car
  • Buy a bigger house
  • Keep getting promotions (you need more money)
  • Provide for your kids – sports, music, all the opportunities to make them well-rounded individuals
  • Go on trips – bring the kids and expose them to the world and culture
  • Keep going until the kids move out, you retire, and then you’re done

Do you recognize this picture of success?

Has yours ever been like it?

I thought it was mine – but it wasn’t – I never created it, it was just what I thought I was supposed to be working towards for a really long time.

Now… don’t get me wrong. It’s not at all a bad picture. It’s a fairly nice picture to me, even as I think about it now. But I needed to make sure my definition of success and the goals I was creating for myself were MINE.

So, let’s talk about how I journeyed on this path:

I got a degree (just one) and then later I got a diploma. I travelled overseas, I bought a car, I got a job in my field, I got a promotion, I bought a house, I got married, I had a baby, and then I didn’t wan’t to go back to my job.

WHAT?!

Wellman Family

I jumped off my path – and I was okay. I was okay with less money and “less success” because I wanted to be with my kid more. I wanted to feel less stressed and I wanted to explore the life of being an entrepreneur (I started my first business – an online clothing store – during my maternity leave).

So, I jumped off the path, but here’s what I called that..  "Choosing to not be successful right now."

But that wasn’t what that was – that was me defining what success looked like for ME. Because success was quality time with my family. It was not feeling stressed all the time. It was making sure I had the flexibility in my life to try new projects and business ideas. And by that measure, I was really successful!

As my kids got older and my businesses changed and I became a marketing coach and then a business coach, money and career success came back to the forefront. I had to re-visit what success was going to look like for me.

As an entrepreneur, a lot of what I saw in role models was to work all the time and HUSTLE to build the biggest, fastest business possible. I didn’t want that and, at first, it was hard to believe that was okay.

Because what I wanted was to work school bus hours and I wanted to take 10 weeks off a year to spend a lot of the school holidays with my kids and still have time to do things for me and with my husband.

That wasn’t what I saw as possible. I saw making lots of money and being successful or again… choosing to be less successful. So, I thought I was choosing to be okay with not being successful for awhile longer.

But really, I was simply defining what I wanted MY success to look like:

  • Creating a community of support for business owners
  • Coaching business women and helping guide them to a place where they love their business and are make good money doing it
  • Spending time with my kids
  • Spending time at the cottage
  • Having the flexibility to start new projects that call to me when I want to
Women Talk Ottawa  - one of the communities of support I am building

Women Talk Ottawa  - one of the communities of support I am building

And so by that measure I AM successful... not putting it off awhile longer!

And here’s the other thing – it turns out you don’t HAVE to work crazy hours and hustle all the time to make good money. I didn’t need to sacrifice decent money to do all those things. I just needed to realize the way I was building success didn’t have to look like how others were doing it!

I am SO successful and I believe you all can be too.

I challenge you to spend some time with your vision of success.

Is the one you have now the one you created? Or is it one you inherited? Or is it one that was formed by society or family and expectations from the people around you?

What does success look like for you?

Are the things you’re striving for the things you truly want?

Something I see in a lot my work are many people living their lives on autopilot. I challenge you to ACTIVELY choose what success looks like for you – on your own terms.

It took loads of pressure off my back to know that I get to choose what success looks like to me, and it can do the same for you!

Sometimes it's the little things

I was away in Windsor, Ontario enjoying some peace and quiet when I recorded the following video. I often talk to clients about the importance of taking the time to sit, to reflect, to think, to be, and to journal.

These simple things can help you figure out what you really like to do, what's important to you, and what motivates you. This is important to the health of your business because when you're not paying attention to your feelings then you're not taking care of yourself, which in turn makes it hard for you to take care of your business.

Sometimes it's the little things that you do that can make the biggest difference. This could mean taking a few minutes to journal everyday! If you're looking for motivation on what to journal try using prompts i.e., use the prompt, "The thing I love about my business is..." or "If I didn't have to work today, I would love to..." or "I'm scared that I might..."

Take some time to think about the little things in your life and your business. Let the thoughts flow and see if anything interesting comes out of this time well spent. Don't be afraid of what might come up. Let your stream of consciousness flow. You need to think about these things and write about these things in order to move forward in your business.

And if you want some help and guidance in figuring it out, book a call with me and we can figure out if I'm the right person to support you forward on your entrepreneurial journey!

 

My Favourite Business Books

BizBooks.png

I have a list of business books that keeps getting longer and I wanted to share a bit about some of my favourite business books with you. For each I’ve explained what the book is and who I think might benefit from it and why. As I find more books that I love I will add them to this list. 

A couple of quick notes:

1)   I don’t read business books; I listen to them as audio books. I learned a few years ago to stop forcing myself to read business books (because that’s what all other successful business owners seemed to be doing!) since I just couldn’t get myself to focus on them. Instead I listen to audio books when I’m driving, cleaning and exercising. It’s a great way for me to truly focus on the content. So, always pick the way to ingest content that works best for YOU.

2)   Where possible I’ve included affiliate links. Feel free to grab the books elsewhere, but I figured if I’m sharing the links and it’s just as easy for you to grab the books from those, I’ll make them affiliate links. :)

3)   I don’t always finish a business book right away, but there are still a lot of great lessons and I come back to them and slowly work my way through them. Don’t beat yourself up if you need to do the same thing. Make sure you have a sense for why you’re reading a book and investing time into it before you start reading it – it will really help you stay on track.

Everything is Figureoutable

Book description:

While most self-help books offer quick fixes, Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo works to retrain your brain to think more creatively and positively in the face of challenge.

”If you're having trouble solving a problem or reaching a dream, the problem isn't you. It's that you haven't yet installed the one belief that changes everything.”

Why I like it

Things often seen insurmountable but most of the time they absolutely are figureoutable. I like how Marie Forleo gives you lots of ways to think about things so you can start seeing how things are figureoutable in your own life and business.

Who is this for?

Business owners who feel like many hurdles keep popping up and they’re not sure how to handle it all.

Amazon link: https://amzn.to/2GdF7x0

Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck

Book description:

You already have everything you need for an amazing career. In fact, you’ve had it since day one.

Starting on the first day you got paid to scoop ice cream or restock shelves, you’ve had the chance to develop the four elements all great careers have in common: relationships, skills, character, and hustle. You already have each of those, to one degree or another.

Now it’s time to amplify them and apply them in a new way, creating a Career Savings Account™. This unique approach will give you the power to call a Do Over—whether you’re twenty-two, forty-two, or sixty-two. You’ll have the resources to reinvent your work and get unstuck. You’ll even rescue your Mondays as you discover how to work toward the job you’ve always wanted!

Why I like it

Sometimes we need a do over in life, sometimes we need a pivot, a change or an updated. Jon Acuff is amazing at coming up with simple stories and tasks to remind us of all we have available to us when we're ready for change - the support network, the skills, and all the things we think aren't there but actually are.

This book may seem like it's about changing your career but I think it's just as much about up-levelling your business.

Who is this for?

Anyone looking to up level their current business or change their career.

Amazon link: https://amzn.to/2n8U35M

Thank and Grow Rich

Book description:

Thank & Grow Rich is for anyone interested in hooking up with the magnanimous energy field of the cosmos. Author Pam Grout, who likes to call herself the Warren Buffet of Happiness, says it all starts with getting on the frequency of joy and gratitude. Thanking (rather than thinking) puts us on an energetic frequency—a vibration—that calls in miracles. Science has proven that when we observe the world from a place of gratitude, when we use our attention to spot beauty and gaze at wonder, we develop the capacity to radically rev up our day-to-day experience. Brazen gratitude, it seems, provides a portal—an entry point—straight into the heart of the field of infinite possibilities described in Grout’s bestseller E-Squared. This book also offers an updated perspective on abundance, which goes way beyond financial capital. It shows readers how to grow and expand their creative capital, their social capital, their spiritual capital, and much, much more!

Why I like it

I'm all about gratitude in my life and business right now and this book is an amazing reminder to appreciate what we have, be thankful for all that is going well, and to put our brains and hearts and selves on the frequency of receiving.

This is a book about the law of attraction, miracles, and tuning in to the possibilities of the universe. Definitely higher on the "woo woo" scale than most of my recommendations, but I think you're going to be seeing a lot more of that from me moving forward.

Who is this for?

This is for you if you're looking to feel more connected to your business, to all that you do and to letting more good and abundance flow to you.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.ca/Thank-Grow-Rich-Experiment-Shameless/dp/1401949843

The Myth of the Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate

Book description:

In THE MYTH OF THE NICE GIRL, Fran Hauser deconstructs the negative perception of niceness" that many women struggle with in the business world. If women are nice, they are seen as weak and ineffective, but if they are tough, they are labeled a bitch.

Why I like it

I was excited to read this book because this is something I have struggled with. I often feel that all the steps to success given to women are done so that they should be more like men. That women can't be respected if they're too nice; that they can't get ahead if they don't have a more of a cut throat attitude.

While this book didn't have tons of new information for me, it was really nice to have my feelings on this reinforced by a very successful woman (and other women she knows). You can be kind and nice and still get ahead. That doesn't mean you can't be aware of how to make sure you're being compensated fairly and it doesn't mean that you don't still have to be a good boss (a good boss isn't always happy with everything and asks a lot of their employees). You still need to do those things, but you CAN do it while feeling good about yourself and not feeling like you have to be harsher and gruffer and not show that you care about people (and this is the messaging I feel is more prevalent out there).

Who is this for?

Ambitious women who want to succeed without losing themselves in the process.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.ca/Myth-Nice-Girl-Achieving-Becoming/dp/1328832953

Audible link:  https://www.audible.ca/pd/Business-Money/The-Myth-of-the-Nice-Girl-Audiobook

It Starts with Why

Book description:

 START WITH WHY shows that the leaders who've had the greatest influence in the world all think, act, and communicate the same way -- and it's the opposite of what everyone else does. Sinek calls this powerful idea The Golden Circle, and it provides a framework upon which organizations can be built, movements can be led, and people can be inspired. And it all starts with WHY.

Why I like it

As a coach, I’m regularly asking people WHY they do what they do. It’s a question my coach asks me many times, and to be honest, one I struggle with.

This book goes into figuring out the why in you that helps you stay interested and motivated; the why in you that ties your life together. The why that helps you understand what opportunities you should take and which ones you should skip in your business.

Simon Sinek has a great TedX talk that is a good primer for the book.

Who is this for?

If you haven’t gotten clarity on what your purpose is, who your ideal client is, or how you’re going to decide what comes next in your business, this book can help you start to figure that out.

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2hCGSu8

Audible: http://amzn.to/2znItYE

Finish

Book description

According to studies, 92 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. You’ve practically got a better shot at getting into Juilliard to become a ballerina than you do at finishing your goals. 

For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t try hard enough. So I started getting up earlier. I drank enough energy drinks to kill a horse. I hired a life coach and ate more superfoods. Nothing worked, although I did develop a pretty nice eyelid tremor from all the caffeine. It was like my eye was waving at you, very, very quickly. 

Then, while leading a thirty-day online course to help people work on their goals, I learned something surprising: The most effective exercises were not those that pushed people to work harder. The ones that got people to the finish line did just the opposite— they took the pressure off. 

Why? Because the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism. We’re our own worst critics, and if it looks like we’re not going to do something right, we prefer not to do it at all. That’s why we’re most likely to quit on day two, “the day after perfect”—when our results almost always underper­form our aspirations. 


Why I like IT

If you've ever beaten yourself up about not finishing something you started....

If you've ever created all kinds of reasons to put off starting something until you've done a long list of other important things...

If you've ever given up on something because you can see how you're never going to get it right anyways...

Then you might also want to read a book I just finished :)

First, let me tell you that while I try to read a lot of business books, I have a hard time with them. I don't have a lot of extra time to listen to audio books and I don't have the capacity to sit down and read them on paper.

So when I finished this entire audio book in 3 days the irony that it was a book on Finishing didn't escape me :)

Finish by Jon Acuff hits you right in your perfectionist tendencies and makes you realize that you may need to let go of your desire to do it all, so that you can actually start accomplishing more.

Plus he does it while being funny, which is my favourite.

Who is this book for?

If you've been struggling with getting started on projects, or finishing them, I highly recommend this book.

And if you, like me, struggle with reading paper versions of self help books, check out Audible. It's made me the biggest difference for me, and Acuff touches on why that might even feel like cheating in this book, when it really isn't :)

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2xSPVKd

Audible link:  http://amzn.to/2znItYE

Confidence Code

Book description:

Working women today are better educated and more well qualified than ever before. Yet men still predominate in the corporate world. In The Confidence Code, Claire Shipman and Katty Kay argue that the key reason is confidence.

Combining cutting-edge research in genetics, gender, behavior, and cognition—with examples from their own lives and those of other successful women in politics, media, and business—Kay and Shipman go beyond admonishing women to "lean in."Instead, they offer the inspiration and practical advice women need to close the gap and achieve the careers they want and deserve. 

Why I like it

Whether you realize it or not, as a woman you may approach decisions and your life differently then men when it comes to confidence. I really enjoyed this book because it made me understand how women deal with confidence and gave me tips and ideas on how I can make changes to increase my confidence.

Who is this BOOK for?

If you struggle with sales, with negotiations, with making yourself heard, with reaching out to new people or any of the main things I hear small business owners struggle with, I encourage you to read this book and see where you can start making small changes that can have a big impact in your business.

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2vxD2rY

Audible link: http://amzn.to/2znItYE

The E-myth Revisited

Book description:

An instant classic, this revised and updated edition of the phenomenal bestseller dispels the myths about starting your own business. Small business consultant and author Michael E. Gerber, with sharp insight gained from years of experience, points out how common assumptions, expectations, and even technical expertise can get in the way of running a successful business.

Why I like it

Most of us start our business because we’re good at a thing, as opposed to ‘good at business’. The thing is, we need to be good at business and not just the “thing” if we’re going to grow a successful business. This book helps you understand how to shift your mindset from one of doing the work, to one of running the business. One of the most important actions to take after that mindset shift is the creation of systems. 

I fought against creating systems for a long time – mostly because my personality type isn’t one to refer back to systems, but for other clients I work with I see them resist because they feel like it’s silly to write down systems just for themselves when they know what and how to do things without one.

Systematizing your business is one of the best ways to make sure that your business stays on track and is set to grow.

Who is this BOOK for?

If you have visions of growing your business beyond just you, if you have visions of selling your business, if you know you’re going to be ready to start outsourcing soon or if you feel like you’re always overwhelmed and never have time to get all that you want to get done (or need to get done) done, then this book is great at explaining why you may need to shift your thinking and what steps to take to be poised for the next steps.

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2hDqjOO

The Big Leap

Book description:

Why I like it

The Big Leap was a game changer for me. It helped to identify where and how I was getting stuck in my business. There are times that I self-sabotage when things are going well and there are times that I self-sabotage before things are going well. Understanding that I’m doing this and looking for the solutions to stop myself from doing it was THE most important first step I took in seeing my business go from just okay to really taking off.

Who is this BOOK for?

Do you ever find yourself in a place where you feel stuck? You want more, but you never seem to be able to get it?

Or do you ever feel like things are going really well, but then they start to fall apart?

This book will help you identify where you’re getting stuck and why – and awareness is the first step to making changes.

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2wmKW56

Queen of Distraction

This is not a business book so I’m sneaking it in because it spoke to me personally.

Book description:

Do you rule the realm of disorganization, clutter, and chaos? Are you constantly battling to get things done? Are you ready to give up and toss your day planner into the dungeon (otherwise known as your closet)? If so, you might just be The Queen of Distraction . And whether or not you've been formally diagnosed with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you probably already know that something's got to give. The Queen of Distraction presents practical skills to help women with ADHD achieve focus and balance in all areas of life, whether it's at home, at work, or in relationships.

Why I like it

I was diagnosed with ADHD close to the age of 40 and listening to this book really helped me to realize a couple of things.

1)   A lot of the shame I feel around my inability to do certain things is self-created and really normal.

2)   My brain works differently than other people’s brains – that doesn’t make it wrong, it just makes it different. Embracing other ways of doing things, the best way for YOUR brain, is key to decreasing frustration and finding success. Also, you just need to cut yourself some slack. 

Who is this BOOK for?

If you find yourself feeling perpetually disorganized or suspect you might be a woman with ADHD, this book is great at helping you accept your differences and move forward to solutions. This book can help you move out of “this is how I SHOULD be doing things” to “this is the way I can do things.”

Amazon link: http://a.co/cN0m9Au