Season Three, Episode 9: Boundaries for a Better Business with Lara Wellman

Boundaries for a Better Business Season 3, episode 9

A common conversation I have with people is around how they feel like they're working all the time. They're working so hard, and it still doesn't feel like it's enough. It feels like they're not making enough money or they're not able to figure out how they can grow to the next level because they're already working so much.

They're starting to resent their clients or resent their businesses or think maybe this wasn't the right thing for them to be doing in the first place.

They get frustrated and tired, and just don't want to do it anymore. And so, we work together to figure out what it is that's going on, and what it is they should be prioritizing. We discuss why it feels like they're out of time, out of options and frustrated.

I believe there are four things that are causing feelings of stress and overwork in so many business owners.

1) Time and money leaks

If you’re working all the time then you probably have time and money leaks in your business. This is how business owners end up having this situation where even though they feel like they have mapped out how their businesses are going to work, they’re still working all of the time.

There’s not enough money and they don't know how to change it. So, time and money leak. A time leak, which turns into a money leak, is when you’re doing more than you're supposed to. An example for me as a coach is when my coaching calls go over. If every time I'm supposed to have a 20-minute call I spend an hour on, that's a time leak because I have gone over my allotted time.

Often times, it feels like you're doing something really good because you're giving, but you're not respecting your time. When this happens you need to either get strict about the times of your calls or account for what it's actually going to be. For me, some of the time I have a buffer that if a call is going to be 30 minutes, but I know it might go to 45, I make time for that in my calendar. And if it's a call that I'm charging for, that's part of the package. I know the price point that goes into whatever I'm selling includes what a longer call would be.

I see this with people who are service-based industries, where they end up doing a lot more than they said they were going to do.

When you're trying to figure out how long something is going to take you, especially in a service-based business where you're charging for a done-for-you service, you want to figure out how long you think it's going to take and then charge based on double that. And the reason is that it almost always takes us longer than we think to do things.

We're all tired time optimists. We think that we can get things done really quickly when we can't. And so when we tell somebody a price based on our optimistic view, and then it ends up taking longer, we end up feeling really resentful of the fact that we're not getting paid overtime and we're running out of time. Be really mindful when you're figuring out what you're quoting for things, how much you're charging for things and know that you should be charging for the bigger amount of time that it's likely going to take. If you don't want to do the bigger amount, then you need to stand strongly in the shorter amount of times - it's one or the other.

2) Feeling responsible for everything and everybody

The other thing I see is business owners feeling is that they’re responsible for everything and everybody. This is where you have the opportunity to do a couple of things. One is to start letting things go and not try to be a perfectionist. And another one is to start stepping into being a leader and learn how to mentor other people to do some of the work you would have done. Both are great. Both are ways that you can then start to scale and this is important for anybody who's looking to grow a business that is bigger than them.

If you feel like you have to be responsible for everything and feel like you're the one who has to do it because you're the one who does it best and it's just easier if you do it - you’re going to get stuck. You will get stuck in a situation where the only options are either there is a ceiling to how much you can make or you're going to keep feeling like you're overworked and working all the time.

If you can start to figure out how to delegate, how to say no to certain things, how to start mentoring other people, and how to grow your team, then that's how you can start doing less of it, but still grow and make more money.

3) Getting stuck in guilt and fear

We need to make sure we don't get stuck in the guilt or the fear.

I see this happen with so many business owners. Number one, it's not your job to just give for free because somebody has a heartfelt story. A lot of people have a heartfelt story, but also have the boundaries that say, “You know what? This the time we have allotted and we're just going to need to fit into it.” People will respect that.

Business owners feel guilty that people aren't getting everything they dreamed they would get. People feel guilty that they aren't getting optimal results at all times. But it's not all on you. You need to watch that feeling of guilt that comes in and ask yourself, is it legitimate? Is it legitimate for people to feel like they're not getting what they paid for? Is it legitimate for them to need all that you're giving them right now?

The other piece is feeling scared that they're not going to like you or that there could be conflict. And while I understand that, because I am a people pleaser, I also know that if you let people creep in, you will end up doing a lot more work than you set out to do and you're going to get resentful. You're also going to get frustrated, and that's not going to be your best work. It’s not why you went into business. Knowing this, the clearer you can be and the more you can set expectations.

The more you stand in your power of your boundaries and what you do and what you don't do, is something people respect. And if somebody doesn't respect that when you ask for it, they're probably not your ideal client.

4) Realize not everyone is your ideal client

I know this is a hard one, but remember that some of the people who will go, some of the people who will be unhappy, and some of the people that may not like what you're choosing to do may get angry - but it's okay because they weren't your people. Continually remind yourself of this.

Even if they're not the ideal client, you probably worry they won’t like you or not feel like you did a good job, or what if they're going to tell people that you weren't good at what you did? This is where you have to take a breath and say, I know that the right people who I love to work with will understand this. I know that the people who are my ideal clients are going to respect my boundaries. And if my time is so full trying to please all these people I don't really like working for, I am not going to have room to bring in the ones I love working with.

It’s about putting up strict boundaries and respecting your time. So that even if some people go, you're making space for new people. This is important, because like I mentioned at the beginning, I have talked to so many people who are frustrated, angry, tired, and feel they're going to burn out. If you can firmly say to clients, you know what, this is how I work with people or this is how I charge people, then you're able to make more money. You will be able to work less and you will be able to feel better in your skin, you're going to feel healthier, and you're going to love everything more. And that means that your business is operating well.

Being willing to say no is a strong empowered way to stand in your business and to see all the potential for how you can grow to the next levels in your business.

Spend time looking for the money leaks and for the time leaks in your business. Where are you giving more than you're charging for? Is your time disappearing and that's why you feel like you never have enough time?

And catch yourself if you're feeling guilty. Catch yourself if you're worried about people not liking you. What if it was all going to be okay to just talk yourself through what's actually true, what's fair? Talk to yourself about why it's okay if somebody doesn't like what you decide to do, and why it's in everybody's best interest for you to stand in that power of holding your boundaries strong so that you can feel better about your business.

If you’re looking for help figuring out what those boundaries should be or if you're looking for help figuring out if you need to sell things so that it feels better then book a call with me. I love helping people figure these things out.

Create strong boundaries and hold strong. You deserve it and your business and your life will be happier for it.

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Podcast editing done by Eric Wellman