It Scared Me - A Story of Growth and Discomfort

Today I want to tell you a story.

15 year old me was afraid of her own shadow - the idea of public speaking terrified her. To be honest, 25 year old me felt that way too. And then I got a job that was really cool (events coordinator in the ByWard Market - a super vibrant part of my city) that came with the unfortunate requirement of having to promote events on TV. I was shoved WAY out of my comfort zone.

Every single time I had to go on TV, I felt like I was going to puke. Or pass out. Or just look terrible because I was dripping in sweat. Or all of those at the same time. I was going to look and sound terrible and then never be able to outlive the shame of it all! I refused to ever watch any of the TV spots after I’d done them.

Magically, however, being on TV started getting easier and easier until I noticed a couple of years ago, when I went on TV for something else, I had ZERO anxiety left about going on local TV to talk about stuff.

Since then, I have continued that pattern of panic, feeling like puking, doing it anyhow, feeling a bit more empowered on the other side, and I’ve come to recognize that not only can I handle it, but I now purposely create opportunities to go through things like this on a regular basis.

Last year, I signed up to take a stand-up comedy class.

Why? I think I’m funny and wanted to see if I could make people laugh if I did it on purpose. 😊

Every class I tried to come up with a valid reason to get out of going. Every time I worked on my jokes I was sure nobody would like them. On the day of the show, I was a MESS. I was SO angry at myself for having agreed to do something that was undoubtedly going to be embarrassing. I was dripping in sweat as I waited for my turn to go on stage and I remember talking to people but have no recollection of anything I said because I was in such a swirl of anxiety.

And then I performed. And people laughed. I kept my set short (four minutes compared to my colleagues who had the lights flashed after the 7-minute mark). I got off the stage and had a huge rush of adrenaline and excitement. People asked me when I would perform again, and I said “never, I’m done, but I am so glad I did this.” I still feel that way, though I now know I could do it again with so much less fear.

The growth and expansion that comes from trying new things and being okay afterwards (even if I wasn’t good at them) has been instrumental in helping me grow my business to new levels and to normalize the feelings of discomfort that come with growth.

The next time you introduce a new product or increase your pricing and feel like throwing up or break out in a sweat - it’s not because it’s wrong, it’s because you’re travelling through the discomfort of growth. That means that seeking out discomfort like that from time to time means you’re on the right path (you also want to sit in comfortable some of the time too).

I had to push myself to rewatch the set from last year, terrified I would be embarrassed by myself. I think it’s still pretty okay so I am sharing it with you today. And I’d love for you to reply and let me know what you thought, and what you’ve done recently that scared you. I promise to read and reply to every one of you. 😊

https://vimeo.com/478516463/807adaa823

Are your goals and motivations the same thing?

Recently, on a plane ride to Las Vegas I was seated next to a fellow entrepreneur who runs a marketing company. Naturally, we started talking about our businesses. When he found out I was a business coach, he asked how much I deal with business stuff versus how much I deal with feelings and emotions.

I told him that I dealt quite a bit with the feelings and mindsets of business owners - far more than I ever expected to when I started as a coach to be honest. As we continued talking about mindset, I could sense that he had lost his real motivation for running his business and he didn't really know why. Which brought up some key questions I often ask business owners – What is it that you want to achieve? What are your goals? What motivates you?

Sometimes your goals and what motivates you are not the same thing.

In his case, he wanted to make millions of dollars in his business - that was the big goal. He thought he knew why - to be successful, to have created something really incredible, to go bigger and better and make the work he was doing feel really exciting... but he didn't sound really excited about it and he couldn't verbalize why that was really meaningful to him. From where he was standing he couldn't understand his lack of motivation... from where I was standing, what he was dangling in front of himself as a carrot didn't seem like the thing he actually wanted to get him moving on a day to day basis.

WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT?

He felt like making millions of dollars would mean he had really succeeded.

Okay, but why? Was he feeling motivated on a regular basis? Making millions of dollars was a big goal that was going to take awhile... what was going to feel like a win between now and then?  

He didn't really know.

Was he happy? Not really.  His business was his life but he wasn't really feeling excited about it at the moment. The joy and excitement of entrepreneurship had kind of fizzled out.

So what WOULD make him excited... while he was working on making his millions?

The more we chatted the more we found that thing that actually excited him.... travel. He knew he could work from anywhere and he was in a situation where he wasn't really tied down to any one city at the moment. So... why wasn't he travelling?

He didn't know.

The only thing holding him back was making the decision to actually do it. (mindset!)

For him, seeing this motivation as a reason to reach his goals started making more sense than just working to make millions of dollars. His million-dollar goal wasn't tangible enough to get him jazzed every single day  – travelling is attainable and is something he can do now right now.

So, if you are in business and you tell people your goal is to make more money, but find that you’re not motivated (there is no wind in your sails) is it time for a reframe? What motivates you? What changes need to be made in order for you to reach your goals? How can you get excited about your business and what you do again?

Asking yourself what you really want is a conversation you need to constantly have with yourself. Checking in and asking yourself this on a regular basis will keep you on track and help you achieve your real goals.

Having business goals may seem like the way to stay motivated, but it isn't always (and that's not only OK, it's normal!!) 

And if you want help figuring it out, book a call with me - or come check out my next planning day! I'd love to talk about whether I'm the right person to help you figure that out, as well as how to keep moving forward towards reaching all your business goals!